My thoughts have been veering towards quite negative energy coming to the end of 2018. Thinking about the discords within the feminist movement a lot. Too much. Finding myself lost in these thoughts for weeks on end, without seeing a solution. Even thought I was depressed for a minute.
But, out of every struggle, something positive can emerge.
So things can seem dire at times. So what. I took some time to rest, relax and think in December. And emerged with some new, hopefully bright, ideas. It took weeks, but I did, finally.
In moments like these, I am, again and again, reminded of Garda Lerner’s words:
“The division of women into the good and the bad ones…” is what patriarchy thrives on. And yet, we often forget it. More or less consciously. That’s when it’s good to remember our foremothers’ words. Around the same time of the year, four years ago, I have made a note of Kate Millett’s words, that came up as a timely reminder within my most recent time period:
“The work of enlarging human freedom is good work” even though it may not always be easy.
And so I have decided to take these reminders as signs and to learn from this experience. To make a positive change in my life and my feminism. To work more towards a more positive vision of the future. And to remind myself of my vision for Angels & Witches. And to focus more on that and less on everything wrong in the patriarchal world around us.
Of course, easier said than done…! A mind shift does not just happen overnight. Looking into the abyss can become a bit of a habit… It takes patience and practice to shift away from it. Mind training, one might even say. But it’s never impossible. Or else I might have had to resolve myself to dropping feminism altogether! And I don’t think I would know what to do with myself then…!
Instead, I have resolved myself to try a different approach. So this year will be dedicated to trying make a start on a location for Angels & Witches a simpler, more affordable way to start with.
Because, like Arundhati Roy said:
“Another world is possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing”
And so my new year’s resolutions are to not be so hard on myself and my sisters, to read the words of our foremothers more, to learn from them, and to try and avoid forgetting them again in the future, to worry less, and to reflect more. And to try and not look into the abyss as much… And maybe, just maybe, a solution might appear in my path soon.
I feel like starting 2019 by reading more of Roy might be a good idea… Have a blessed year all!